It is a very popular thing in the world today for people to explain to you how to identify and remove toxic people from your life.

They tout it as a great thing when in reality it is born from a lie. It’s born from the wisdom of the world.

How do I know? Jesus.

This thought is not born from the truth which can only be found in Jesus. It can only be found in seeing your face in the face of Jesus, the word made flesh. He is the only way to discern the thoughts and intents of your own heart. He is the only truth about you and about others.

So, lets first establish that the idea that you have identified a person as a toxic person, did not come from God. If you don’t see this is true in Him, there is certainly nothing I am going to say that will persuade and heal your heart.

It’s not other people who cause us emotional hurt and pain, but rather it is something that is within our own heart.

(I am not speaking about physical abuse. If you are concerned or afraid of physical abuse and you feel the best thing for you is to remove yourself from a situation, by all means, do that.). and know that present or removed Jesus can heal your heart from pain.

The truth is that the only way what someone says or does can actually hurt my feelings is if I already have something going on in my own heart.

This is why two people can have the same thing said or done to them and what they believe about it be totally different (i.e. Jesus).

When you see that the root of the hurt is within your own heart, then you can also see that avoiding those people could never get to the root of that hurt and heal your heart.

Additionally, when you realize this, and you begin reasoning from the truth, you will stop blaming other people for your hurt and pain.

Blaming and avoiding people is a way for our hearts to feel like we are preserving ourselves from future hurts. But once we see that other people are not the root cause of that hurt, we can talk to God about our own heart and He can heal us.

True lasting peace only comes from God, not from avoiding people.

Some will read this and be angry because they are not ready to let go of the hurt and anger, they feel toward people who they see as the cause of their pain. This can be setting yourself up for a life of bondage because if you believe that peace is only found in others behaving right toward you, you will never find freedom in that.

You can be free regardless of whether any other person is free.

But there is only healing when you look at Jesus and are persuaded of the truth. Jesus most certainly had the worst things said and done to Him and yet, He never returned it, He never got offended or thought that separating Himself from people was the answer. Why?

I can tell you what it wasn’t, it wasn’t because He gritted His teeth and said I am just going love these unlovable people because that’s what I am supposed to do. No, that is also death and He didn’t reason that way.

Rather, He was fully persuaded that His life was born from the Father. And that, “that life” was an incorruptible life that could not be hurt or injured by the death in the world.

This cause Him to go to rest, not trying to preserve His life from hurt and pain, and not return evil for evil, but with compassion He saw those animated by death as innocent.

At the core, there are only two wisdom's: we can either look to preserve our own lives or look to God, Our Father to protect, preserve and bring healing to our life.

The only way we can go to rest in trusting the Father (in any area, but certainly relationships included) is to see your testimony in (Jesus) the son as your own testimony, how that He will only ever be good to you and has given His incorruptible life as your inheritance.

Only in Christ can you see the Father’s everlasting love toward you that will allow your heart to put its guard down and go to rest. This is the only way you can experience the love and intimacy you desire in relationships.

Being persuade that your life is born from Him and cannot be injured from the death in the world, you can discern what is born from life or what is born from death (from faith or iniquity).

And reasoning from the truth, you can talk to the Father about your own heart and He can bring healing. Also allowing you to see that the other person is animated by something (death) that is causing the fruit of death to manifest in them.

In that place, you still might decide that you don’t want to be around some people, and that’s okay. But in the day that person is a co-worker, spouse or family member who you cannot avoid, you can still have the peace that is born from the truth revealed in Jesus.

Death can animate people, but death is what is toxic, not people!

It’s easy to fall prey to the lie that people are toxic, so don’t judge yourself if you have believed that but begin to talk with the Father about it and find healing in the one who is your life and your peace.